Aloha,

THE DOCTOR IS IN. This column aims to answer any questions you have that cover the areas of craft, process, and technique, and/or the teaching of writing and literature. The latter has particular relevance these days for parents. I hope that I might be able to help those who may be drowning while homeschooling English, or Language Arts, to their usually wonderful, but occasionally recalcitrant teens.

First, Dear, Reader, I’d like to explain a bit about the lens through which I navigate my life: narrative. It is a sad but true fact that while reading and writing have governed my existence, it was only recently that I began to see my own life in terms of the basic principles of story. Why? I do not have a proper answer other than I am clearly beset by an inability to swiftly deploy practical application when it comes to formal knowledge. I am the example that people point to when they discuss how too much schooling fails to turn out machine-ready citizens. Yet, I am here, now, veritable proof that It Is Never Too Late To Learn. Indeed, applying principles and concepts of literature to our existence enables us to think about authoring our lives. Knowledge of literature and the techniques of writing can profoundly change how we approach our existence—if we understand that we ourselves are the very story that we construct. 

“I am the protagonist”—“Who is my antagonist?” When we frame ourselves in literary terms like this we soon find ourselves contemplating how our lives unfold chapter by chapter. We run down the list “My ex? My boss? My INNER DEMONS of fear and insecurity?” Soon we see our lives take on the qualities of a story and adventure. And we ask “Am I deploying/writing all five senses to experience this story/life on multiple levels?” “What’s the setting? Do I like where I live?” As we apply it to everything, starting with birth and ending with death, we begin to savor these questions and our approach to them instead of fearing them, because we know they will end soon enough.

Dear Dr. Han,

My partner does not like my writing and while I appreciate this honesty, it is hard for me to deal with this. Please advise how I might approach this situation moving forward.

Sincerely,
Solo Writer

Dear Solo Writer,

This is a tough one and unfortunately a common one. First of all, is your partner a reader of your particular genre of writing? If you write crime fiction and your partner only reads prescriptive self-help books, your partner is likely unable to judge the quality of your work.

Next question: Are you a good writer? Or are you…terrible? Do you suck? Is your writing boring? Writing is a combination of craft skills and having something to say, and if either is missing, you need to obtain them by learning how to move through the world and/or studying the craft of writing. 

Let’s not beat around the bush. If you can honestly assess your writing and believe yourself to be a good writer (or at least one with potential), you will have no choice but to get rid of your partner. Why? Because writing is a long hard road and you need someone in your corner who believes in you. Anything less is not going to cut it. Your writing is your art and your inner self, the very core of your being. If the primary person in your life doesn’t respect that, this person does not see you for you who you are.

Image by Aaron Burden.